We can bend the truth to please others or not to upset others. But, how do you feel when you do this? You don’t feel satisfied. You feel under the control of that person, that you are not truly free.
Our lives are filled with decisions or choices. You have to choose to get up in the morning or stay in bed and risk losing a job.
You have to choose to be quiet when your partner says something that annoys you, or have an all-out fight!
You have to choose to bend and accept the way another person is because you love that individual or you want a peaceful existence.
With choices there are always consequences. There is an outcome. This is our life, every day. We mould our lives as we make our choices. Our present lives are the outcome of all the choices we make all day every day.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too. No. Once you have savoured the delights of your choice, the consequences come. Are you satisfied with your life? Have you found the right balance? It is a matter of the choices you make. If you make the wrong choice, the consequences will show you the error of your choice. You won’t like the way things go.
OK, then look at your options. At any moment you can change your mind. Change your course. Change your choice. If you see that you have made the wrong choice, look again at all the options. If you are not happy, what is stopping you from being happy?
If you are feeling uncomfortable in any scene in your day or any situation in your life, what are the choices to change these? There is always a choice.
People can feel trapped in a situation. Yes, they chose to take that job. Or they chose their marriage partners. Or they chose to have a family. But then they no longer want that job or that partner or the responsibility of a family. But they did choose them. They may not have considered the consequences of their choices but the consequences came.
So when you are choosing, become aware of the consequences.
Before finalising your choices, think about what the consequences would be – because the consequences will come automatically.
So you can’t then blame the job for being that job. You can’t then blame the husband or wife for being the way they are. You can’t wish that your children no longer exist because they do exist and they are dependent on you. The reality is there.
But maybe you didn’t consider that the reality comes from your choices. So, it is not the fault of the job, the partner or the responsibility. You made your decisions. Can you live with them?
Can you? Can you live with them, understanding that they were your choices? Is it possible that you made poor choices? So maybe you need to put things right somehow.
It was not the fault of the others. So making them suffer is not putting things right. Yet you can come to a point of acceptance. Yes, they are who they are. Yes, I made the wrong
choices. They are not to blame. I can take help. I can learn from this. I can be careful now about the choices I make.
I was recently told the story of someone who married four times. She said it was no good because each partner she took was exactly like the others. What does that say about her?
Of course she kept making the same choice. And each was the wrong choice.
So the starting point to making the right choices is to look at your life, as it is.
Are you satisfied with your life?
Oh no! I don’t like my partner. I don’t like my job.
Ah, but you chose them. If you leave these and choose another job or partner, what kind of choice will you make? You might need to change the criteria on which you make your choices. You might need to accept the consequences of your choices.
Will you walk into a job, which is just the same, if you don’t adjust your expectations?
Will you take a partner who is just the same as the last because you are attracted to this type of person, and you don’t care what the consequences will be? You will get the same type of partner as before, if you do not look at why you are attracted to a person who has those shortcomings.
These are things to think about before you rush into any big decisions. It’s too easy to keep making the same mistakes. But if we are not happy with the choices we have made so far in our lives, it must be time to stop making decisions on the spur of the moment.
It’s now time to consider the consequences of any decision – all possible consequences.
Take your time. Ask yourself if you will be able to live with the consequences of your decisions for some time to come, or possibly for the rest of your life.
In deep contemplation you can begin to see your past mistakes and think of various, possibly better, choices available to you. Sit alone for some time in meditation and think over these issues, while in your own mental space. Give yourself time to consider carefully and have the intention of finding better choices.
A little time in meditation is time well spent as it can calm your mind, allowing a clearer picture of your life choices to emerge. Then it will be easier to make the right decision.
Brahma Kumaris in Australia
The Brahma Kumaris have had a presence in Australia since 1975. There are centres and class locations in the major cities, as well as three Centres for Spiritual Learning, where courses, classes and retreats are held.
Brahma Kumaris Australia is a registered charity in the area of education (spiritual).
All programs are offered free of charge as a service to the community.
The ongoing operations are funded through donations from students and the public in the spirit of maintaining its educational services for the benefit of all in the community.