Written by Margaret Goodwin
There’s an equal and opposite force when we lock horns with someone. Both of us are pushing, determined to be the victor. Can anyone be the victor this way?
Both can only see the opposition in front of them.
They cannot see the consequences. They cannot see the peripheral damage that may be caused. Not only will they themselves be injured in the battle but those watching will also be adversely affected.
And, of course, they are stuck in this battle, each pushing with equal force, so neither can move from his position. They are both standing still.
This method of “negotiation” will not give a satisfactory result to either. If they are evenly matched in power, they will both push and shove until both become too tired to carry on.
Both will be defeated.
And, if one has more power, that one could destroy the other. However, the ‘other’ one is a member of the same herd. A strong and valuable contributor to the survival of the herd would be lost.
So no one really wins.
There is a way for both to win.
They could unlock their horns, take a step back and consider what they are doing. Who is being harmed by this encounter? Who can benefit from this?
Right at this very moment we want something so much that we will fight for it.
But … What of the consequences?
In the future will this mean so much to us? In order to get what we want will we damage our relationships with family and friends? Will we harm ourselves? … and others? Will we be battle-weary and fearful? Any happiness we had will have disappeared. Wary of us, others will now stay clear of us.
Stop, look around and think of the consequences. Who is watching? Your children, your good friends, your workmates? What would be the consequences, once they have seen this violent, combative side of your character?
You could lose a great deal more than you had hoped to gain. A fight can only be a fight when two or more opponents are prepared to engage. If one wants to fight and the other walks away… then there is no fight!
The battle is won.
You have maintained your peace of mind. You have protected your honour. You still have good relations with your family and friends, as you did, before someone confronted you.
Wait for a better time. State what you want and the benefits for all concerned. If the other parties can see benefit for themselves and their relations, they will be likely to co-operate.
If there is benefit for both sides, then both sides win.
(Margaret Goodwin is a practitioner and teacher of Brahma Kumaris Raja Yoga Meditation.
She can be contacted on firstname.lastname@example.org)
The Brahma Kumaris in Australia
The Brahma Kumaris have had a presence in Australia since 1975. There are centres and class locations in the major cities, as well as three Centres for Spiritual Learning, where courses, classes and retreats are held.
The Brahma Kumaris Australia is a registered charity in the area of education (spiritual). All programs are offered free of charge as a service to the community.
The ongoing operations are funded through donations from students and the public in the spirit of maintaining its educational services for the benefit of all in the community.