Parenting is all about communicating with your child. Positive two-way communication is essential to building your child’s self-esteem. Children thrive with words of encouragement and praise. It is important to set up clear and open communication patterns early on. Pay attention when your child speaks, respect their feelings and watch your tone of voice.
Parenting is all about communicating with your child. Positive two-way communication is essential to building your child’s self-esteem. Children thrive with words of encouragement and praise. There are simple things you can do to improve how you communicate with your child.
If you set up clear and open communication patterns with your child in their early years, you are setting up good practices for the future.
Children’s ability to manage stress, feel confident and motivate themselves in later life has a lot to do with their early childhood experiences. A person’s ‘self-concept’ is their sense of who they are and how they feel about their place in their family and community. This begins to develop between the ages of two and six years.
Positive relationships between parents and children are an important part of building a child’s positive self-concept. A child who feels constantly blamed, judged and criticised may grow up to become an adult with a negative self-concept.
You can help your child develop a positive self-concept by using positive communication. For example:
- Pay attention, respect your child’s feelings and watch the tone of your voice.
- Respect your child’s right to their opinion, no matter how young they are.
- Allow important or difficult issues to be discussed without the fear of uproar, criticism or blame.
Listen to your child
If you want your child to be a good listener, make sure you’re a good role model. Take the time to listen to them. Busy, distracted parents tend to tune out a chattering child, which is understandable from time to time. If you constantly ignore your child, however, you send the message that listening isn’t important and that what your child has to say isn’t important to you.
Some suggestions include:
- Pay attention to what your child is saying whenever you can.
- Make sure to allocate some time every day to simply sit and listen to your child if you have a busy schedule.
- Encourage your child’s ideas and opinions. Positive communication is a two-way street in which both parties take turns listening and talking.
- Resist the urge to correct their grammatical errors or finish their sentences – concentrate instead on what they are trying to say.
Build up positive self-esteem
Positive, encouraging words help children to feel confident and happy.
- Catch them being good! Praise them for tidying up their rooms or taking turns. Praise reinforces good behaviour.
- Thank them for helping you around the house or at the supermarket.
- Let them know you have faith in their abilities. A child who is constantly told to be careful or that they will hurt themselves will eventually lose confidence in their abilities.
- Allow them plenty of opportunities to do things they enjoy and do well. Feeling competent builds self-esteem.
- Praise their efforts, not just their results. A child needs to know that it is okay to fail.
- Try to avoid constantly correcting your child’s mistakes. Trial and error are part of every child’s life. Your child may feel discouraged and hopeless if their every effort is graded and criticised.
- Separate the child from their behaviour. Disapprove of the activity, not the child. For a child’s positive sense of self, it is better to say ‘drawing on the walls was a naughty thing to do’ rather than ‘you’re a naughty child’. Your child needs to know that your love is unconditional.
- Don’t assume that they know how much you love them – tell them often.
- Tell the child what you do want them to do rather than what you don’t. In most cases, it’s simple to turn a negative sentence into a positive one. For example, instead of saying ‘Don’t walk so close to the road’, say ‘Come and walk next to me’.
Actions speak louder than words. Remember that the way you say something carries weight. Suggestions include:
- Squat down to the same level as the child instead of towering over them.
- Maintain eye contact with young children. Remember, though, that older children and adolescents often don’t like this, so chatting while you’re walking along or driving in the car can be more effective.
- Smile. A child will respond better to a smile rather than a frown.
- Avoid talking to them when your back is turned or when you are walking away from them.
- Use a gentle tone of voice, especially if tempers are starting to fray. Yelling only encourages more anger.
- Cuddle children often (no matter how old they are).
- Avoid impatient body language like eye rolling, foot tapping or sighing. This can discourage a child from talking.
Children thrive with words of encouragement and praise. You could say things like:
- Good job
- You did that really well
- I’m very proud of you
- I like playing with you
- That’s a beautiful painting
- That was a great try
- You’re so thoughtful
- Thanks for helping
- You’ve got a great memory
- That’s amazing
- Great idea!
- You did it!
- Let’s play!
Spiritual Quotes of Dadashri on Parenting
- (1) Your children are your mirror. They reflect your own faults.
- (2) No one in the world improves through physical or verbal abuse. They benefit from being shown the right way to act.
- (3) Every young adult has the potential power to help the entire world. He just needs the right guidance and support. Without such guidance the youth has turned selfish and has a very self-centered view of life. They will prey on others for their own worldly comfort and happiness. He who renounces his own happiness can make others happy.
- (4) Children bring with them their personalities at birth, but you have to help and nurture them so that they flourish.
- (5) Preventing insurance fraud is a complex endeavor for providers and governmKeep positive intents (bhaavs) for your children. This will bring good results. They will change for the better and this will happen naturally.
- (6) The day you stop arguing and nagging your children, they will begin to improve. It is because your words do not come out right that they get aggravated. They do not embrace your words, but simply throw them back at you.
- (7) Parents attempt to mould their children into replicas of themselves. They should let them blossom on their own. They should know the children’s strong points and nurture them instead.
- (8) Parents should speak in such a way, that children become interested in what they have to say. Only then would children listen to their parents.
- (9) Real parents are those who manage to change their children’s behavior through love and understanding, even when the child does dreadful things. But such love is not to be found, because the parents themselves are loveless & have no time in their life. This world can only be won over through love.
Science behind “Positive Parenting: Parent-Child Relationship”
- If you become a friend to your children, they will improve. But if you assert your authority as a parent, you will risk losing them. Your friendship should be such that the child will not go looking for comfort and guidance elsewhere.
- You should constantly maintain the intent that you want your child’s understanding to improve. In doing so, you will notice a change after some time. Your child will eventually come to understand. You just have to keep praying for him. But if you keep nagging him, he will go against you. You have to adjust and accept things as they are.
- When children are reprimanded, they will not tell the truth and they will learn to hide things. This is how deception arises in the world.
- When you become irritated with your children, you are binding new karma for your next life. There is nothing wrong in displaying irritation towards them as long as you do not feel and suffer the irritation. It should be dramatic.
- (1) How to teach moral values to children?
- (2)How to guide children towards education?
- (3)How to talk with children, when they make mistakes?
- (4)How to deal with defiant children?
- (5)How to raise a child with discipline and good manners?
- (6)How to stop a child from stealing?
- (7)How to improve children?
- (8)How to deal with your teenage girl?
- (9)How much inheritance for your children?
- (10)How to strengthen parent child relationship?
How do I instill moral values in my kids to ensure they grow up to be good & reponsible children?
You should talk to your children every night and discuss things with them. Converse with them and explain things to them in an amicable manner. You need to pay attention to all the aspects of their development. They already have a good personality, but they need encouragement. You have to keep them in check and caution them.
Teach your children good habits. Every morning after they bathe, teach them to pray for world peace and salvation. If you can do this, it would mean that you have succeeded in instilling good values in them. Pray with them, so they will learn from you. This is your duty as a parent.